Zootopia: The Party of a lifetime
by Zedoaries
Summary: A week after Nick Wilde has become a police officer, he decides to celebrate by going out partying. Only problem is, he partied WAY too hard. (Also includes drugs and sex so NSFW ;)


**DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of Zootopia, These are just my ideas. (Also NSFW scenes will be in later chapters)**

As I slowly started to regain consciousness, I could feel my head as if it were being squashed by an elephant. Moving my head or body was out of the question so I slightly opened my eyes to see if I'd gotten home for me, I was in what looked like an Intoxication cell at the Zootopia Police department. In the corner adjacent to me I could see a small figure that seemed to be Finnick. With my vision blurry and my psyche cloudy, I decided to yell over to make sure it was him.

"Finnick, is that you?" I shouted in a raspy voice. He let out a moan for his response.

Finally starting to come to my senses, I wiped my eyes to focus better on Finnick and immediately burst out in laughter. This seemed to wake Finnick up and he suddenly figured out what I was laughing about. He was completely naked except for a diaper, with black markings all over his body that looked like the mark of a hell of night. He was covered in drawings of penises.

Finnick exclaimed, "Every goddamn time I hang out with you Nick!... WHERE THE HELL AM I!"

"We're probably In a day care judging by the look of you Finnick." Nick said with a sly grin.

"Would you wipe that shit eating grin off your face Nick?"

"Not before you wipe those penises off your face."

Finnick desperately tried to wipe his face off, which did nothing. I tried to refrain from laughing at his desperate attempt as my head ached tremendously. I started to become concerned again, as being a police officer in a holding cell I knew I was in deep. Trying to recite the events from last night was impossible, feeling as if I got flashed by one of those memory eraser in ' _Mammals in Black.'_

"Finnick, what the hell happened last night?"

"My guess is as good as yours Nick, but we for sure got belligerently fucked up…. Well, at least we know it was a fun night right?"

Him saying this reminded me of my teenage years back with Finnick when we used to drink before we did our 'dastardly deeds' conning others and acting as outright idiots. Before I could respond to Finnick's seemingly rhetorical question I heard the door being unlocked by someone behind me. To my surprise it was Judy. "Welp, I'm boned" I said under my breath.

"Oh cheese and crackers, I knew I should've just let you sleep at my apartment." Judy said shaking her head.

"Oh umm, hey there carrots; long time no see?" I said hoping to prompt her to explain any events of last night.

Instead there was an awkward silence for about 20 seconds as Judy stared at Finnick in disbelief of his _marks_ , until he broke the ice "So are you just going to stare at me, or are you going to tell me what the hell happened last night?"

"Well Nick left my apartment to go bar hopping with you so don't ask me. Although I do have some uhh, _interesting_ text messages." Shortly thereafter I saw chief Bogo walk next to Judy with one pissed off face.

"Chief Bogo, sir, before your say anything I'm sorr-"

"You two to my office immediately!" Bogo said, Cutting me off. Finnick and I got up in response with an obvious sense of hostility towards us.

"Not before I get some damn clothes Chief Bungus, this is degrading!"

I let out a soft chuckle as calling Chief Bogo's name wrong always pissed him off the most "It's Chief Bogo you squirrel, and you don't deserve clothes after the stunt you pulled off!" He then darted his eyes towards me as my grin on my face obviously left a bad taste in his mouth. "And you Nick! You better tread carefully if you would like to keep your job as a police officer!" This remark immediately wiped the grin off my face as a feeling of guilt and anxiety started to bestow in my stomach. If chief Bogo is threatening me with my job, then I must of royally messed up yesterday.

Judy said distastefully "I know one thing you guys did last night, and it's in the front office."

Buffalo Butt gestured for us to get up as we started to follow them out the door. Thoughts started to bombard my mind as I looked at myself finally to make sure nothing like what happened to Finnick happened to me.I noticed there was the faint smell of blood from a nosebleed and a goose egg on the top of my head, but more importantly my member itched like crazy.

 _Oh fuck me sideways_

I must've gone to the red light district where I used to hustle as a kid. Thinking about this gave me chills as it's not the nicest place in Zootopia. The next sight took me for a loop, breaking my train of thought and my _itch_. In the front entrance of the ZPD was a crashed police cruiser and police everywhere. All of their eyes were on me and Finnick giving an obvious implication that it was us.

"Judy…. was that my driving?"

"That's how you guys got here, and why we're going upstairs right now."

I hung my head down as the only thing I can think of happening is me getting fired already, after only 1 week on the force. How could I be so stupid? I just wish this headache will stop and I can start to remember what happened last night. Well I know Finnick and I are definitely looking at some charges, I just hope I don't have to spend any time in jail….. There goes my 'clean record' Judy gave me.

On the elevator up to Chief Buffalo Butt's office, Judy handed me her phone. "You might want to take a look at these Nick, they are pretty hilarious." I opened her lock-screen and went to her text messages, then my name. She was right, they _were_ hilarious.

I first noticed a picture of me, Judy, Clawhauser, and other mammals who worked on the police force holding beers. Then the texts:

Nick

What's up cutie? ;)

Judy

Nick are u ok?

Nick

I'm a little high, just wanted to let you know haha lol

Judy

Omg Nick, really? I'm going to kick your tail when you get home!

Where are you?!

Nick

No clue lol

Judy

You better come to my house afterwards, I don't want you getting in trouble

Nick

I'll try carrots, no promises

Then there was a selfie of Finnick, me, and some old friends in some sort of house. Oh, and i'm holding a bong. There was also this topless fox next to me trying to kiss me, but I looked too interested in what I was holding….

Oh god, I'm starting to remember everything from last night


End file.
